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May 30, 2007
A Glorious Return
I'm still in a daze from our return to our family at True Worship this past Sunday. What an amazing, victorious day. It is still kind of a blur to me- all the hugs- all the love- the celebration of the end of this season. God is amazing and there is NO better place to be than in His Presence. I've experienced a majority of the things that this world has to offer and it all pales in comparison to the act of corporately worshipping God! It's what we were MADE and CREATED to do! If I could worship God as a full-time job, I'd do it in a second!:)
The funny thing is that my body is completely sore this week! For those of you who have not experienced worship in the Presence of God, there is a power there that cannot be described. I have been instantly healed of a variety of colds, fevers and pains in my body- just by showing up at worship. Sunday was no exception. I had not had much energy during last week, but the moment the sanctuary doors opened, I felt SO incredibly strong. I was jumping around and dancing like crazy! In fact, I had to hold myself back a few times. Needless to say, once I left that "place" I kind of crashed and my muscles have felt the impact.
I love my True Worship Family and cannot wait to be back at full strength so I can serve with all my might!
I AM HEALED AND WHOLE, BECAUSE OF JESUS!
jb
Posted by chasyrdrmz at 02:54 PM | Comments (0)
May 25, 2007
Brothers
Got to head out to Westlake Village (where I grew up) and have dinner with some of the guys yesterday (Todd, Nate,Jay and Alrien). There was something euphoric about just sitting around a table and listening to what God was doing in all of their lives. All I can say is that I have some amazing, life-long friends. I don't get to see them much, but when I do it's like we had hung out every day. It also blows me away to see how God will bring men together and make them of one spirit... you could really tell that cancer was not an experience that JB walked through, but that each man had shared in it and was changed by the experience. It's truly breathtaking to see what God will do in the lives who are submitted to Him. We are all on our journey, but we are all knitted together in Christ. It's something that cannot be duplicated in the World. It was an absolutely precious day of celebration for me. I laughed like I had not laughed in 3 months. I'm truly expectant for what church will be like this weekend. I tear up just to think about it. I can't say it enough... I am blessed.
Posted by chasyrdrmz at 05:01 PM | Comments (0)
May 23, 2007
Learning to Rest
Psalm 46:10
"Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth."
Psalm 23:1-2
"The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters."
Sometimes it is quite the challenge to rest- to be still. There are seasons that God wants us to stop and just BE with Him... To rest and be refreshed and recover and heal... To know that we have no power in ourselves, but, that ALL things come from Him.
I'm not going to lie, I've been squirming through the past few days. God is making me rest and I'm ready to go out and DO. Wrestling with God at it's greatest. Here's an example- My Office. I decided that I needed to move everything around in it. Logistically, I need my printers to be close by, as business is picking up and I'm needing to manage time and resources better. So, this involved a LOT of heavy lifting, etc. Being a son of my Pastor, I have learned from him that when it's time to do something, you drop everything and get it done. So, I grabbed Jen and we went to work, moving desks, printers, chairs, paperwork, etc. But, about 3/4 of the way through, my body was telling me that the day was over. Time to chill. Let your body continue to heal. Don't RUN out your healing, WALK it out:) I could just hear God saying- "I'm MAKING you lie down in Green Pastures. I am in control of your office, your business, your life. I am your Healer, your Provider, your Father. I am ALL you need. In MY timing, not YOURS. Now Rest."
I'm getting it. I'm learning to rest and be at peace with it. I'm learning to enjoy this Season of Rest- as much as I enjoy the seasons of work, of achievement or of travel. I am exactly where My Father God wants me to be.
Slow and Steady Towards The Mark,
JB
Posted by chasyrdrmz at 11:17 AM | Comments (0)
May 21, 2007
Final Hurdles
Well, Friday and Saturday, I really pushed myself...
Friday night, we hung out with a couple from church- after working all day. Saturday, I did an Open House in Upland. Late Saturday afternoon, I laid down to take a nap because my stomach was feeling crampy and generally not good. Suddenly, I had the chills and really wrapped myself up in blankets to stay warm. Jen got home a few hours later and took my temperature. I had a fever. I was at 101.4 degrees... at a place where we needed to take me back into City of Hope (if your temp stays over 100, they admit you back in). I was truly bummed, because I was SO looking forward to returning to church on Sunday. I decided to fight, so, I messaged a few men from church to pray for me and Jen and I started praying in our bedroom. We tried many things to get the temp down- from cold and wet washcloths, to cold juice and water to laying down without a blanket and shivering it out. The temp went down a bit, but was still 100... Jen picked up the phone to call triage at COH, but something told me (God, I'm sure) to just hang out and try to go to sleep. We took the temp one more time and it got to it's highest point at 101.5 and then I/we drifted off to sleep.
When I woke up, the fever had broken!!! I DID stay in bed all day yesterday (Sunday) with stomach and digestive issues, but we did not have to go back to the hospital and for that I praise God. Feeling a bit better today, but still sore and tired. I'm wondering if I ate something bad and did not have the immune system to fight it off- or if I pushed myself too hard? In either instance, it's good to be home.
Still walking out my healing,
JB
Posted by chasyrdrmz at 09:44 AM | Comments (0)
May 17, 2007
Next
June 4th is my CT Scan to verify that the tumor is gone. We will meet with our Oncologist, Dr. Margolin, on June 7th- for blood tests and good news!!!
We are returning to church this Sunday! It brings tears to my eyes just to think about it. Joy, joy, joy. God is good, all the time.
JB
Posted by chasyrdrmz at 06:15 PM | Comments (0)
May 16, 2007
Pain Chart
In the hospital (or any room @ City of Hope) they have pain charts on the wall, with faces and numbers from 1 thru 10. They always ask you to describe your pain, according to the chart. I am a zero today:) This is so they can pump you full of pain meds at any sign of pain. Jen and I thought we'd make our own chart, chemo-head style.
Posted by chasyrdrmz at 02:57 PM | Comments (0)
May 13, 2007
The Road To Life
I saw this photo on my wife's photoblog (http://www.photoblog.com/user/jlbault/) and it made me think of what coming out of chemotherapy is like... You are on this long, ugly and dead road and all of a sudden, you see this beauty of life in the distance and get closer to it with each passing moment. It's actually a photo that Jen took while we were driving up to Mt. Baldy- about 20 minutes from our old home in Upland.
Posted by chasyrdrmz at 11:35 AM | Comments (0)
May 11, 2007
Forward into dreaming and rest...
Today was the "big step" day forward that seems to happen each round. I've gotten through some of the heartburn issues, diarhea (sp?) issues and upset stomach feelings. I was able to sit at my desk at home and work for a bit today- Praise Jesus! I still am getting an upset stomach and having to take Adavan a few times a day to calm it. All in all, a forward day and that is what it's all about... doing the best I can with what God gives me each day.
I think the biggest fight sometimes is the one within myself. I'm wanting to bust out and change the world, create businesses, get back in shape, etc- in one day. I guess that is a guy thing? Wanting to fix everything. But, sometimes God puts you in a place and a season where your main function is to be still and just wait on Him. My Pastor told me last week that sometimes God takes us away so that we can just have time to be with Him and dream. I'm truly going to take advantage of that time. What a gift.
Posted by chasyrdrmz at 10:43 PM | Comments (0)
May 10, 2007
Ohhhhh, The Buuuuuuuuuuurn:)
Well, the huge side effect of (post) Round 4 has been heartburn... Even the prescription pills they give me for it don't make a dent. Today was truly bad. Somehow, the worse the symptoms/recovery get, the more thankful I become for the simple things... a wife who is by my side constantly, searching for any and every remedy available (today peppermint chewing gum and laying flat on the couch helped)... a church family who is constantly praying for me and encouraging me... knowing that the end is near... amazing friends and family... knowing that this could be so much worse... the list goes on and on. Thank you, Lord that you allow the tough times and the pain. It makes the victory SO much sweeter. I can see the finish line now! Blessed! JB
Posted by chasyrdrmz at 05:44 PM | Comments (0)
May 08, 2007
20 Days, 160 Hours, 4 Weeks
160 hours of treatment are over and we are home. Not feeling too great yesterday or today (physically), but we are SO full of joy. I'm counting my blessings. We both are. Can't wait to see what God has for us next. Even the simple fact that we live in a neighborhood that always has awesome cool breezes brings a LOT of smiles. SO many things to be thankful for.
Love= JB and JEN
Posted by chasyrdrmz at 05:59 PM | Comments (0)